haa...wad a joke.. i dont know.. no time to care? whatever la.. If u wan it that way so be it. why make me that middle person..? Do i care..? WHAT do u tink. sick... tired of all these... CRaP. 5 more days..2 more papers.

...7 more papers..15more days...? HAaa... Supposed to feel better as the days go by..? What a joke..beginning to zi bao zi qi again..? Maths1 down..and it was supposed to be maths..mind u.. ha..what can i do now right? suan le la.. remain positive..that's what everyone will say and wad i force myself to believe? ok... jia you then... i dun know wat to say le...Smilex..:)

aRGH...whatever.. what crap...haaz... what doesnt belong to you just doesnt..dont ask why...? Hmm..it's a couple of weeks more..Jia you...? what's happiness..? dun ask...jus be happy?...nvm.. Cheers... jus have to smile

dont know... i am pissed... everything is goin wrong..maybe i'm thinking too much.. some times.. i guess we just have to face some adversities alone.. whatever... i hate my head..why nt jus go bang it against e walls... Geex. heck.

hmmm..what's home to you people..? I don't know anymore.. it's not that i don't care anymore.. but.. haiz.. u knew very well what i didnt like you to say and u called me up while i was studyin outside and then..you knew what u said is not true and then u go on and on... great.. good thing i was alone by then...haiz...nvm.. know why i stay out ever so often already..?
somehow i'm quite lost for words.. why is it that everytime i want to put something across.. i just cant.. ArGH... haiz.. i continuously cause misunderstandings with ppl... geex.. what am i doinG..? haiz..sorry.. somehow i seem to be using this word to such great extent i don;t know if it means anything... But i do mean it when i say it...blah..
Hmm.. people change.. we all do... be happy..it's something that u can choose to be.. :) to all.. take care and smile...

there goes my paper...geex... It always happen..when i'm about to step out of the lab i realise what i miss out.. Sigh~.我是否开始自暴自弃了？？ right now.. feeling down.. am tired...but ya..definitely not out.. don't know what happened to me...but if i gave u a shock..i'm sorry.. sad..stressed out... trying to relax already..so will be fine i guess...having a running nose... Realised i should just stop asking questions.. I dont want to ask something and not get an answer...so i should just shut up.. at least no one needs to bother giving an answer and i need not find out.. if i am supposed to know i will right..? haha.. okie ba ppl.. take care..work hard ya..? Hugz^... anw leemin..thanks 4 e hp covers...:)

bleah..tired. restless...Haha... no excuses la... sleepless again... Hmm.. waking up so often from sleep... and the 6 hrs that are needed...i'm not getting them... geez... k ba. Take care... haiz...whatever i've said..will try my best to accomplish..to all..jia you

hmm..have been away from this blog for some time. Com died on me for some period of time.. Now it's 'alive' again.. Have still been making entries, but in my book.. don't think i'll retype them in here... ya. yesterday was the last day of school officially but doesnt really feel like it cos we'll still be goin back to school so often.. bleah.. many unexpected things happened haha. flared up a few times yest le..have been a long time since i felt this way... sorry.. it's as though i'm using anger to cover up the sadness.. sorry.. i didnt meant it to be this way.. Sorry to those i've offended. bleah.. dont know what i'm doing sometimes.. some things just don't make much sense. Nevermind la.. As long as others around me i care for are happy.. it doesnt matter even if it is to the expense of one's own happiness...i dont see why..i just do it.. ya. hehe. smile..to all, take care. To all who have held on, to those who cared.. Thanks alot.. i love you all...:)
am believing in oneself...u set me a challenge and i'll put myself to it.

hmmm...wanted to blog online but couldnt find the time so wrote it down first..so now found the time to type it out le..well.. went out with a friend on tuesay. finallly went back to east Coast Park again after say..6 months? And i guess you're right.. a place will remain where it is..why and how should i fear a place..?都是心理状态吧? i guess so then. Whatever happened 6 months ago seem to show me how childish and immature one was at that time. never thought of the consequences that would follow. Never thought of what could be a better solution lor..was it an act of impulse? haha... i can 'laugh' back at how these events still haunt me some time back? thinking too much again sometimes? ha. well.. that friend of mine actually wanted to put across to me how others around face problems too... i know that we have the control of the situations that we are in and only we have the power to change anything we dont like in our lives. i guess that i never thought that such things could have happened to me? But i was wrong. As it goes, everyone go through the many ups and downs in life and it is a matter of how we handle them and when we get through them. 不能说我比别人痛苦因为每个人都有自己说不出的难言，痛苦。 如果不想要痛苦就得想尽办法get out of it and stop complaining.. ha.. don't know if i make sense or not but yup. what we are going through now is just a phase in our life, just have to cross the hurdle and then get on? hmmm.. that friend of mine was straightforward..some parts simply too straightforward to accept but i guess she meant well lo? haha.. maybe indeed 没有事情是不可能的吧? hmmm.. for now, am glad that i've overcome the fear of going or being put in the same situations that i dont like.学习看开一点吧。想告诉我周围的人。 。祝你们好运，一切很快就过去. At this point in time, just have to remain positive? Yupz. must have faith..must learn to believe and trust that anything is possible. I'm not forcing, not pressurising myself..just believing..hope that all goes well ba. Some people have told me that i've changesd.. Really? 我真的是那种见面时少说话，没见面时却很多话说？dunno la... maybe it's my character lor? Ha.. hmm..gotten back most of my results.. i must admit that i din do exactly vv well but the fact goes that i did improve? will continue to work hard at it... As is coming in 4-5 weeks... i hope i'm ready..by then,,, yup.. smilez...

Hmm... played the whole of yesterday.. Though it wasnt exactly the way i had wanted everything to be, but on the whole it was ok ba. Guess i was too tired yesterday to exactly enjoy myself.. Went swimming at leemin's house on friday.. It has been a long long time since i last swam.. felt refreshed wor.. think will try to make it a point to go swimming at least once a week... go relax...Anyway..Congrats to XinWei and LiPing in learning how to ride the bike!! in jus less than two hours... Talking about relaxing... all i wanted to do was to take a break after the prelims but it seems some people jus felt it wasnt the right time for me to do so..and that all revision should continue as before even after the prelims. NO break no rest. Sigh...but i guess it's probably that they are worried.And I never told them how drained i felt after it, so how should anyone know..? I just want some time off before i start all over again. Nevermind.. Some things are never going to change... if i can't change the way others think...then i just have to learn to accept right..? And i just have to stay away and hear as little of what i wish not to hear... well..Finally..seems there are plans to go to Indo after my As? It has been a long time time...been waiting for the past 7 yrs... :) hehe... but too early to say anything now.. hmmz..
...i'd rather change myself to suit others...

yeah... PRELIMS is officially over. It has been on for like almost two weeks. Have to say that the papers didnt go too well for me but it's over..just have to wait for the results to come out and then start all over again... I still have that energy left in me i suppose..hehe.. well well.. for the next few days, intend to relax all i can and then come next week have to face papers...hmm. Went for breakfast after paper today at mac..then went lib to read for awhile.. then went CS to watch movie..then went KBOX with 5 other girls.. not too bad ba... prob going swimming tml then Sentosa on SAT morning and buffet at Sab's hse in the evening... hmm.. different me? really..? I duno.. But isnt the me now better off..? well..to all..Smile.. take good care of yourselves. :)
'Life doesnt stop for us to think about it... only when we learn to accept the things that dont go right can we truly do something about them. Treasure whatever time u have...'

yupz...got my journal back..haha.. Lost all my previous entries though... sad right? haha.. But nevermind.. those entries wont exactly too happy either.. so why let them hold me back for so long? Whatever's over is over. just have to look ahead and start over again. Thought i was holding out pretty well the past week but maybe i was wrong. But again as said.. it's not forcing, jus stickin to one's faith? I duno.. if it's forcing, then what's believinG? haha.. interesting lives we've got.. but i would honestly say that if one's happy, we live much better lives.. really.. I begin to look at things from different perspective and am glad i'm living more happily than before. But still have to thank many for making it so possible for me..:P hehe. Today marks the second last day of prelims..yeah... Paper in the afternoon..hmmx. Already came this far.. no matter how grey the skies may be, i believe i will see light someday, somehow. Cannot afford to give up nor get discouraged at this point of time...yeah. people.. no matter how unhappy u get, always remember that you are always being loved..for simply being you..Cheer up:) Grinz. Jia you ba... we all deserve to be happy... take care...