hello world..
it has been 2 months since i last blogged.
things have changed.
i have started work.. and the most common question now is, " how is everything?"
just want to let whoever still reading ard here know that, thank you! i am doing fine. (:
Just need time to adjust, but i know i can make it. =) i will hang around here for a long time... ( i hope) haha. if things go my way, great! if not, it would then just be more lessons learnt.

dear roomie, i know fyp has been an ass.. Get ah bai to kick it ok? Just a few months back, fyp attempted to kill me(literally). POs are never the most wonderful people to start with..but eventually, you'd realise how much they really care. Attempt to be less 'stubborn' and love the PO more ok? Jia you! i have total faith in you. My roomie you know.. (: Sorry i cant be around when you are doing fyp.. the way you were when i was doing mine..But anytime you want to complain, just dial ok? go go roomie!
dear ah bai, as you know. Gan ma is working now, unable to meet you guys all the time.. You must help gan ma take care of your zhuren ok? and sharpen your teeth.. should PO bully zhuren, then just do what you want to him ok? no worries.. gan ma help u clean teeth.. =)

to the rest of the people out there. take care.. cos i care. (:

it's sad to hear of failed relationships, even sadder when the people involved are close to my heart.
heard of many endings. so many reasons. yet, i guess the one reason that might never give closure.. would be it just ended, there is no reason why, but she/he just doesnt seem like the one anymore, that one dont feel the way she/he used to feel anymore. On a positive note, when one door closes, another opens for you, yet, on e other hand, after putting in so much effort into a relationship..can it not stand the challenges.. i dont know, but i guess..hearing of failed relationships, makes me wanna cherish the one i am in more. ((: to those who fell.. stand up again.
jia you!

i'm zoo-ing tml!
haha i am so excited yes!
OH hello world! i havent been here for zeons!
and chak says i have been ignoring it. not that many other people read.but for those who do!
hello~ !!!
zzz. haha. jojo is fine..! and i hope you guys are to!
i will try to blog more consistently! i hope*=P
hahaha~
will return!

it's down to the final two..
panic striken..but not as much as compared to the previous examinations.
maybe its cos.. after so many semesters.. it has finally set in that, this is the final semester!
i dont know if i should be feeling excited.. hahaa.. but i'm definitely looking forward to the end of it all..
=)) i'm so looking forward to phuket.. haha..

Dear you,
who wrote me a blog letter..this is in reply to it!
haha.. thanks alot for your support ya!~for not judging..
it's been many many years since we've known one another, and like what i said before,
it's going to be many many more years worr..
i'm glad u came around..((:
evil girl. ur exams have ended.. but,
wait for me ok? i be done soon tooo!
Love ya for being ya! ((: *hugs.
and jojo loves octopus.. so will eat them up for you!
grinx.. so please dont worry about the octopus anymore ok!
((;

and dd leeee! thank you for lunch delivery..
soggy but nice.. ((:
and full of love..
thank you.. =P

for the past couple of years in uni, i have been either studying in hall or at bukit merah's macD, but this last sem, i wanted to study at home.. but the long weekend that just passed kinda of confirmed that i can no longer do what i do when i was in secondary school or jc whereby studying at home wasnt too big an issue.. perhaps due to the fact that i havent really been home much for the past 3+ yrs..my room is half invaded by my lil bro. and perhaps too, due to the fact that they havent seen much of me at home.. when i am back home, everything seems to be a breeze.. i wake up at 11 when i usuallly wake up at 8 when i am in hall.. haha. haha when i wake up, i have breakfast waiting for me. settled.. then i'd do what i always do.. which is to browse newspapers.. haha. then after which watch a little tv.. then i'd feel sleepy again and off to nap i go.. when i wake up from my nap, i see lunch! hahaa.. then i'd entertain the dog a little.. and by then it'd be like 3pm.. then i switch on my laptop, check my emails.. all these done on my comfy room with comfy aircon.. and oMg.. looking at the dog slp makes me feel sleepy again.. then not too long later dinner is here.. i seriously think i am too well taken off at home.. hahah! DO YOU realise there's no mention of me taking out my notes to study?? it's cos the bag is still sitting at one corner of the room! conclusion, i should not attempt to study at home! hahah~ so wrong... =X

well here i am before 9, already in mse lab.. with notes on the table.. not that i started studying.. but then isnt it a stark contrast than when i am home? haha! ((:

on a heavier note....

i feel the pain when i realised that you've been crying for the past few days.. one part of me feels happy that you are finally breaking out of this.. and you no longer need to be locked in something which i dont see a future in. but seeing how much it pains you, make me bleed. u know i always want the best for you only... i'm sorry i no longer am the joanne you can turn to whenever you wanted. blame it on me that i never really tried to find out more about you.. how you're doing and all. but in any case, i hope that you'd take care of yourself from now on, no matter what happens. you will find better. ok? it's no longer the pen and paper days where we could write long long letters and you know how joanne doesnt say how she feels over the phone or face to face..but.. if there's anything.. i'm still around kk? take care chewie.

good luck all for your upcoming papers! jia yoU~

*hugs. all for you, my dear.

an hour away from my last quiz in my university life...
AND.. i'm so having butterflies in my stomach.. ahhhhH!!!
all the best jojo.. hah~ you can do it! zzzz
such positive spirit from me.. so unlikely. =X

it's QC quiz tomorrow..and it's the last quiz in NTU.. whoa. time flies. haha.
all the best peeps... ((:
and my dear wendy.. your nightmare about me..wont come true ok! (:
how can i ever get pissed off with you?
((:
shoot that lousy nightmare down ok?
*hugs*
thank you, for being around, really..it's been 10 yrs.. (:
and many more yrs to come! ((:
love,
joanne

in the once-in-a-while-feel-damn-lousy mood...
let's hope it all passes really soon ok? =(( haiz.
report is submitted..
here comes the exams..
jia yoU!

i realised something..
i am a beef lover...=X
and i especially like the dip beef slices into boiling water and eat kind of beef..=X
haha SO! next time if u wanna ask me go steam boat or what! must make sure got such thing k...!
haha.. right right i am joking... i just happen to be in a beefy mood today..
=X sounds so wrong.

ah bai.. when are u coming to visit gan ma again?

hi world...
went to have dinner just now and saw this deaf mute kid.. having dinner with his parents.
it suddenly dawned on me, what does everything feels like in his life..? is it all quiet? or even peaceful..? but is it even peaceful because the noise that probably exists come from the internal struggles in the heart n mind? but in any case, he looks happy, and i wish him well. (:
try to keep in mind, that i am a fortunate one... even as things dont always turn out the way i want them to. but then again..isnt it just fortunate enough to be living? needs to find the courage, to face the world...

love,
joanne

submitted my report draft to prof loo today.. sudden relief...
yet sudden comprehension..that there's still so much out there waiting to be done.
PV quiz...ens presentation.. qc quiz...exams...
sigh..not much time left..but just abit more to go...
but the mind's thinking.. but the heart and hands refuse to do the work..feeling so nua. =X
looking forward to the end..of exams...
then grad night...
then..phuket...
jia you JOjo!

at long last, my first draft to the supervisor is ready for submission! well to be honest, it really isnt the first draft with the many many times that i have editted it..thanks lots weili.. i know.. that i dont appear to appreciate it, but deep down.. i do. haha i just dont know how to express myself can? i'm not sure if the draft is good enough actually... albeit very last minute.. but in any case.done.. need to go bind it up and submit later on..
next up.. PV quiz and QC quiz...argh...it's a never ending thing isnt it? ha~jia you guys. take care!

8days 'quoted' me in saying that ice cream is a happy food! hahah!
i seriously think so! =X just like the other coursemates of mine.. who will randomly go like..
let's go eat ice cream...and off we go to mac..for ice cream cone..sundae or flurry... haha.~
it destresses me for that moment. and bliss follows.

i love ice cream. =))

ok nightmares dont really come true.. =X
that i concluded from the meeting yesterday.. haha~ =X
but in any case.. take care ya.. ((:
went for dinner with avril and avril's random friend weijian. haha

think fatigue and the lack of time is something of the norm lately.
hardly enough time to do the things that need to be done..
hardly enough time for the people who matter.

but i still care..
and still love. haha~

double choc famous amos..
yummm.. sudden bliss.

take care.

good morning world...

why does everything seem to go wrong at the same time?
last night i had a lousy dream.. (lee lee i forgot to tell you)..
haha. something so wrong. yun suspects its FYP stress that's getting to me...
i dreamt that i quarrelled with my mentor over FYP, cant recall what's the issue..
in it, we were quarreling so hard, i ended up crying.. haha~ amazing..then somehow avril, i duno why she popped out..came in between to stop us...when i awoke suddenly from avril's interception, my eyes were kinda damp...i dont know if i had really been crying in my sleep man..sigh. maybe it was an indication that something had gone wrong or set to go wrong?
and guess what happened today?
i got around to editting my report..and when i plugged my thumby in, i realised that the folder i have saved all my SEM images were in it was being quarantined cos virus was detected in that folder..OMG. can u imagine how i felt at that point in time? i really seriously and honestly felt like crying..that was over 40 images of SEM! and joanne didnt have a back up.thankfully i have great friends with great brains and i finally managed to restore the images...with no hiccups so far.. sigh.. things cant get any worst can they?? OmG la..
i need to find back the composure.


thank you for ben ben..

*hugs.. i love you*

and so the tickets have been booked as well..which means..the phuket trip is confirmed? =)) i'm so looking forward to it.. meanwhile. i need to do the editting of my report.. focus on the remaining of the semester... and get everything over and done with...Busyyyyy....!

chak chak~ haha! it's kinda of settled..=) let u know more ok! hahah~ see when u coming again then i let you know.
wendy! haa i havent got ard to googling that thing..so..=X let's hope for the best haha!

maybe age has certainly got me to think into things so much much more.. no longer that selfish anymore.. no longer that impatient anymore...and thinking more about the things that i really really want.. so much more. like what i told yun yun.. signs of age... not trying to say that i'm becoming very matured in thinking or what..maybe just slightly more...

and i was telling * that.. go with what the heart wants ba... even if you dont get it in the end, at least you know you've tried right..you have the right to your own happiness..and the decisions all really lie in your hands.. Is it going to be the right decision? ask yourself... =)) but meanwhile..maybe we really should focus on the more important.. the graduating properly part! =) haha!

*hugs.

just met up with steven n violet for discussion.. booking the tickets tml...once violet's passport is available!=) and booked the hotel today.. i'm so excited! =)) phuket here we comeee! haha i anticipate lots of fun! just the 3 of us..!

advisory note:
please book ur tickets early..especially by budget.
the price shoots up within the week!

post number 333?
haha. right.
in mse lab already, with a mad rush on my report.
but need some sort of entertainment... hah~
now that online streaming for mediacorp radio's channels is no longer available, and even safra's radio channels..i have to bring my earpiece along... and..here in mse lab.. reception to 883 or 933 is bad..so the next clearest channel that i could obtain was class 95.
then i realised how entertaining class 95 can be.. here i am listening to the station, typing my report...and smiling to myself.. hahaa. highly entertaining la!
i miss the music on 883 but ya class95 is damn funny.. well shall make do with it till then.

i guess at close to 23, one starts to think a little more than before. one become less tolerant to certain things, and the patience run low. am i becoming less accomodating or am i just thinking more and more? i dont know...

and..panic is in the air.. the pace is quickening. i cant catch up.

some personal thoughts..
has it been increasingly difficult to manage stress these days?
certain incidents have occurred lately...that questioned me.
What led to such incidents?
Can nothing be solved rationally?
there was a probably a time where i probably thought that death could solve anything..
but the idea probably doesnt really appear too strongly that i remember vividly.
there were rash and irrational moments in this life of mine. too many failures that i can hardly comprehend. but i got over them. probably due to the support of the people around me, or simply because, i havent seen enough of the world yet..or maybe just because, i need to believe that..success will come one day. i cant fail all the time right?
yes. i fear.. i do fear more failures, but i will hang in there..
there's so much more.. right?

fyp report is due soon. panic. will panic keep me going? hahah.
jia you everyone.
we can do it.

sometimes all we need is a little encouragement.. =((

in lab now..waiting for time to pass...sigh. Lab is becoming more n more like a vacuum cleaner..having a meeting tomorrow I hope it all turns out fine.. Panic in e air.. Someone teach me how to stay calm. I'm suffering from final year depression Haha... Bleah..tired. after graduation I'm going to slp for all I can man.. Haha right...wish me well for fyp..and in job searching...lucks joanne..

love my e71. Haha..cos while here I am in lab centrifuging, I can go online and blog... Something that I didn't really bother to yan jiu in e past... Haaha.some feeling I have now. Maximum panic. Sigh.. All the best to me... Haiz

havent been around for some time already.. i hope everyone's doing really well!=))
time flies... i've been in NTU for 3.5yrs already.. doing my final semester and final yr proj at the moment.. in no time, whoosh and i'd be thrown into the working world, and into a new phase of life...
right now.. my mind is silently screaming out for help.. i need the motivation to do my final yr proj! i need to make do with whatever little results or no results that i have.. somewhere somewhat i know that it's not time to give up or anything like that.. i cannot turn away when the journey is ending. i need to carry on. i need to find something to keep me afloat.. joanne, jia you!

to my boy.. thanks for tolerating my nonsense..for giving in to my nonsense all the time.. haha~ luP you lots! it's sometimes the little thoughts that go a long way.

suddenly realised how inter-racial marriages in Indonesia are such a no- no thing. my chinese catholic indonesian cousin has been together with this malay guy for four years.. and finally, they have decided to get married.. alright all along it has been a hush hush relationship, but even so, for me, even if i heard of such news, i would be happy! i mean, a happy couple are finally going to get married. they can accept each others' differences, find happiness with one another.. i know parents and family members have some say in one's marriage..but at the end of the day, the union is still between the both of them! what's wrong with inter-racial marriages? What the couple need right now is the blessings of family and friends, not discrimination or whatsoever. There has already been one inter-racial marriage in the family. things being ugly at first, but eventually accepted. Why must they allow the same situation to occur again. A marriage is supposed to be a joyous occassion, the union of 2 persons in love. I know i have no say, just stating my opinions here..but i hope that eventually, they will be able to get the blessings from my side of the family. well each family has their own set of problems to deal with, and i have to say this, i am already more fortunate than most people are.

ok, done with my random ramblings of the day.. take care people! (=

hello world!
(= i'm back! it's been some time before i found time to blog.. exams are finally over.. one year since i last took exams then went on IA.. well i have to say that it's a good feel that it's finally over, for now... but means..FYP continues! I highly suspect i'd be doing something similar to starting all over again.. maybe not to that extent..but it has been some time.. i cant really rmb much of it.. =( think wei li will kill me.. so will joachim.. sigh.
ok the papers were killers... in my account.. but exams have never been easy for me anymore since jc.. sigh. cant seem to remember much of what i read anymore..and so it seems..i know that they say as long as i've tried my best, it's enough.. but.. study so much, so hard..but still. =( enough said.. let's get on with the unhappy things. ha.
EXAMS are over for now! jump jump jump! went to raffles city with another 8 coursemates today.. for lunch sit down n chat..it has been some time sia.. haha! but stone...stone.. stone...joanne is tired. the long hours as 趴地虎has taken its toll on her.. bah..
ok.. going to jio as many people out as possible the next few days before i start on FYP again.. need to relax one corner for abit.. i'm going to miss some people..especially those who are going to graduate this semester.. * =(( . but all the best.. find a job real soon! (:
shall blog again soon! take care everyone!

叛逆..haha i guess that's one of the main reasons... wanting to go against. but otherwise... it's passion..doing something that i yearned to be doing... i dont know when the cat will be let out of the bag..or ignorance is being feigned but till then..

exams are around the corner..less than a week to go..everyone...must jia you ok? (: those who are leaving this semester.. work harder!!your last exams alr! (: blehhh.

went to catch avenue q w vril yik n violet... really nice musical..must catch it if you all have the chance ok? though i finally understood how come it's NC 16.. really had some crude content..*stunned* hahaa~

my parents n lil bro has returned from bengkulu.. other than my lil bro having diarrhoea on duno which day i guess they had fun.. ? exchanged smses with lil bro.. got into the triple science combination for sec 3... congrats man.. though i always pour cold water... hahaa.. i always believed he is damn smart.. (of cos la...he's joanne's brother lei)..hahahaa...

late..going off to bed..i know...another random post..

love...or waste or time... it's a fine line in between..
but you're* worth the time...

已好久没有更新部落格了。。
虽然很多感言，但因忙碌而‘忽略’了这里。
用华文的理由很多，但在此不方便透露。 想知道来问我吧！
哈哈。相信此刻只有男友只道原因。
也已好久好几没用华语沟通，请原谅错字与用词不当！
最近发现其实很多思想很不成熟。。可能我没资格说他们，但是这是我的想法，不认同的人,too bad. 很多人可以为感情付出一切，也可以因为一段断了的感情而不折手段。
‘你’的一举一动已暴露了你那丑陋的一面。很庆幸你只不过是陌路。我想对你说的是，我不会在你面前做戏。也不会伪装为你的朋友。每个人都有个的脾气有限，别怪我人狠心。
life's been ok..how's yours?
(: joanne wants you all to know..that she's thankful for the many wonderful friends..(:
to vril n yun who has been listening to my complaints lately..(:
and buddy yip...for your msges..(:
and..whoever matters to her..(:
wen, chak, ah bai,...=P
i miss 04/03
work hard for exams everyone!

and..
darling leeee...hahaa
i not 霸道ok！haha. complaining to you and getting your fridge filled up with chocs for me..makes me feel..very 幸福! yayness. hee.. *hugs <3*

whoa.. my blog is growing dust already.. not that many people read it in the first place... but probably a short entry before cobwebs start to grow.. getting more and more difficult to find time to blog.. hah~
hey world, how's everyone out there??
i know it's probably a never ending cycle of lectures-fyp-lectures-fyp now...where there's practically no time for anything n everything now..but everyone do take good care of yourselves k?
have been in this state of...lost..but fight on joanne fight on! it's less than a yr to grad...jia you you!
randomness...
but there's a couple of impt dates to look out for other than exams and quizzes...
17 oct
18 oct
31 oct
1 nov
and my parents n lil bro are going to indonesia end oct...means hall is going to be my home for close to 2 months.. hmmx.
happy birthday to the october babies! hahaaa

with love,
joanne

yesterday was my mum's 53rd birthday. it had been some time since we celebrated either parent's birthday with a cake. dad's birthday is next month.. keyan, u and gor's turn to buy cake hor.. =P and after all these years... realised my mum does act cute.. lol~ let me put up her picture of her trying to blow the candle. she didnt want to appear old, so we only put up one candle. lol~

see my mum also know how to act cute one k...lol~

that aside..

i realised that negativity has once again found its way back into my life. i feel stupid... that no matter how hard i worked, i dont see any results. it's a painful realisation and it has it has impacted me hard. i just don't seem to be able to do well in anything. i feel lousy. i know i have already come so far, and there are other people who are having it worst off than me, but what gives me the right to complain...? =( sigh~ i dont want to be a disappointment, but... i cant help it.

feeling lost.

and helpless...

good morning world,
=) slept really hoping that i'd be feeling better by the time i wake up...
but...my nose has yet to stop leaking...and i feel a slight cough coming up...
sigh sigh~
let me go blog a little then go on to study...(hopefully)
hahah since i cannot get back to sleep, i shall attempt la..
maybe cos it's past the optimum no. of slp alr...
there has been a sudden increase in the number of ants crawling all around my table..
so irritated by them. haha~what's making it even more irritating is that i cannot find the source of these sweet loving creatures. no killing, just using the scotch tape to niam them.. sounds friendlier right..
met up with ziyuan for breakfast yesterday. as usual, i enjoy my usual chattings with her..though it was a short one since both of us were rushing for time. but it's always enjoyable=) i'm glad that you're having a wonderful life out there... as for a guy, no hurries in getting one la! hehe.
some times, it's not cause i want to be selfish. i just want to make sure that the decisions made are for the best. there's no time for regrets. not that i dont trust, but in making important decisions like that, there really isnt any room for error... (: no avoiding. when the right time comes, i'd let u know. (:
hmm.
hey wendy... how's your computer..? i havent seen you around u know.. take care k, if u ever see this...

sometimes, in life, we just miss one another. crossing just right next to him/her without noticing. someimes, it's just being at the wrong place at the wrong time. just wait and see. keep on believing.

i heart you*

pissed off...
who gave you the right to hurt me like that?
sigh...='(
that's no way to show support or respect for me ok?
damn it...

we all need a little hug sometime....='(